Or at least in my mind I was fun. But since I have become a mother…no, allow me to correct that: since I have become a 40-something mother of teens, things have changed.
I used to go out and have a few drinks with my husband and friends, eat out at a swanky restaurant in downtown Seattle and sometimes, we’d go dancing. Hello, we would go out for Happy Hour in the middle of the week. But we would get up at 6 a.m., go for a run and tackle a full 10-hour work day. I’d pop a couple Advils, down a tea or three and I was fine. Ready to manage some Mad Men-style-for-the-90’s public relations campaigns.
I didn’t even need a nap!
But things have changed since becoming a mom. Drastically. Let’s just say my lame meter is running high. And my fun factor has depreciated.
Deflated like a week-old balloon.
So much so, some weeks, I fear I’m ready to sign up for water aerobics.
Signs you’re starting to get a little lame:
1. You start listening to the Oldies station without even realizing it’s the Oldies. I was belting out a Neil Diamond song at a stop light the other day and realized a car full of 20-somethings were pointing, staring and laughing at me.
2. You get invited to see a live band that starts at 9:30 p.m. But by the time you peel on your dressy jeans and heels, you start yawning and decide it’s way too late to even make an effort. So you bow out and watch a Sex and the City re-run while eating the last piece of chocolate cake in the fridge.
3. Going to see a band used to be a twice-a-week tradition, now you’re lucky to catch a concert twice a year. And Lord help us all if it starts at 8 p.m.
4. You get a hangover from the piece of chocolate cake you ate.
5. You go see Neil Diamond in concert. And you and your 60-year-old aunt know EVERY SONG. (Thankfully, the show is over by 10:30 p.m.)
6. You down three beers and feel like you pulled an all-nighter.
7. You down champagne and the next day, you fear the bubbles have taken over your brain cells.
8. It takes you a full day to get over a hangover.
9. A late-night run to Taco Bell has been replaced by heartburn medication.
10. When you do go out, you need six hours of sleep. IN A ROW. If you don’t get it, you’re really, really, really cranky the next day (and feel like you’ve pulled an all-nighter).
11. Referring back to #10, do you know how hard it is for a 46-year-old-work-from-home-mother-of-two-human-and-three-canine-kids to actually sleep for four hours straight, let alone six? Don’t even talk to me about my sleep patterns or night sweats during pre-PMS weeks.
12. If you stay up past 11:30 p.m., it’s a big deal. And if you stay up and watch a movie in the family room until 11:30 p.m. with your spouse, you might as well call it a date night.
Yes, things have definitely changed since we had kids.
Especially since turning 46.
We still have FUN. But it’s a lot different these days.
We have fun doing simple things.
Like laughing at ourselves.
Bike riding to the beach to catch the sunset.
Meeting the girls for brunch.
Hosting a group of teens for a pool party.
And watching the sunrise with my husband from our back porch.
Don’t get me wrong. I still enjoy a night out with good friends. Or date night with my husband (who makes me laugh until I tinkle). Even if it’s more like twice a month rather than twice a week.
Did you agonize over your baby registry because you wanted the best of the best for your little baby on the greatest monitors, toys, sleep sacks, and teethers? I did too, and now I’m here to tell you today that I’ve been a mom for 10 months and it’s the items that I’ve borrowed from others that have impacted me the most.
It’s incredibly easy for newly pregnant moms to get caught up in the society of baby registries and items galore. (Hello, have you seen all the pretty aisles at Buy Buy Baby?!) I’ll be the first to admit that I loved researching the latest and greatest, but for other reasons I love how many hand-me-down items I have been able to borrow. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and this is just one of the many reasons I’m thankful for my village.
I remember texting my best friend when I was seconds away from crying (partly from hormones and lack of sleep) because I didn’t think he would have any pajamas that were warm enough for the winter. Within hours, she was at my house with a bin. I also didn’t understand the differences between 0-3 months and 3 months until she patiently explained how sizes worked. I shouldn’t have been surprised. The same friend showed up at the hospital with a pumping bra when she found out that I was pumping without one; at the time I didn’t even know what that was! Later on, she saved the day with a manual breast pump when I needed it for flying. As I write this entry, I’m grateful to her for showing me the way through the world of baby gear and for the friends and family who regularly send us their hand me downs.
The bins of clothing are stacked with labels and neatly reflect a letter of the alphabet so that I will know where it needs to go when we’re done, but more than that, who I can be thankful for. I’m thankful that my child has clothing to wear, that his mommy has a friend who will explain the differences between all the sizes, and that she didn’t have to do this alone. I’m thankful for all of it.
I’m a grandmother, but I don’t give a lot of advice. Not much that I did with my own kids ever worked. But there is one area where I succeeded, picky eating.
I never food fights with my kids. I generally say that this was because I listened to the ‘experts’ and followed their advice. When my first child was 2, my pediatrician sat me down, and said, “between birth and now, your child has doubled his weight. But for the next two years, they’ll only gain 4 pounds. They’ll only eat two meals a day. Don’t worry. Don’t feed them sugary snacks, and trust me, they won’t stave.”
So when I think about the adventurous appetites of my now adult children, I generally attribute my success to listening to the experts.
But recently, when I was talking to my own children about their children and food, I got unexpectedly upset. And I remembered a grimmer reason, based on a piece of my own history that I had tried to forget.
It wasn’t from my childhood. I don’t know if picky eating was a problem, but my mother never forced to me eat. I had no memories of trying to feed the dog under the table, or of keeping food in the side of my mouth for hours until I could spit it out unobserved.
No. This memory was from my early 20’s, when I was in a bad relationship.
I thought I was in love. He was brilliant, sensitive, and misunderstood. Many of us know this story. One of our earliest tension points was his habit of going out for pizza at midnight. I didn’t object to it. I was happy to go out with him. I just wasn’t hungry at that time of night. So, while I tried to join in, I rarely consumed more than a bite or two. He was hurt. I tried harder. But, paradoxically, the harder I tried, the less I could eat. He should have just shrugged and said “Hey, just come along for the ride.”
But he didn’t. And the problem got worse. We would go out to eat for supper. I would be sure that I was hungry. But when we sat down, an expensive meal in front of us, I couldn’t eat. I was too anxious to eat, my tension bordering on nausea. The more I tried the the harder it became. At the height of the problem, while on business trips, I would put a wastebasket beside me before I phoned him, just in case I threw up while talking.
I weighted 112 when I moved in with him. At 100 pounds, I fell out of love and left him.
So five years later, happily married with children, I remembered. I remembered sitting at that expensive restaurant, and being terrified I would vomit if I had to put another bite in my mouth. I remembered thinking that what was happening just might be abuse. When I had small children those memories were still fresh. And I realized that what seemed so terrible to me as a grown women would only be worse for a child. So, I was very careful to never get into a food fight with my children.
Today, 40 years and 40 pounds heavier, I tell my children: picky eating will come and go. Please, please, don’t ever force your children to eat. Good food is such a gift; it should never be turned into a dreaded ordeal.After all, children always want to please, children never fall out of love with their parents, and children can’t just leave.
Summer means a lot of things, but perfect ripe berries are one of our favorites! And nothing is better than taking the kids out to pick your own farms! We’ve rounded up the details on some local farms that offer pick your own strawberries and blueberries. Where available we’ve added info on when the farms are beginning PYO {2018 season}, but things can change quickly based on weather and crop conditions so always be sure to contact the farm ahead of time to confirm hours and availability. To use the guide, simply click on a section!
Happy Picking!
[ultimate_exp_section title=”Strawberries – Rhode Island” new_title=”Pick Your Own Strawberry Farms” text_color=”#ffffff” background_color=”#dd4949″]
Sailsbury Farm Phone: (508) 336-5587 Address: 11 Peck Hill Rd Johnston, RI 02919
Strawberry picking started June 8, 2018. Check their Facebook page for updates.
Sweet Berry Farm
2018 will be Sweet Berry Farm’s 38th Strawberry picking season!
Phone: (401) 847-3912 Address: 915 Mitchell’s Lane Middletown, RI 02842
Pick your own begins mid-June. Check their Facebook Page for updates.
Schartner Farms Phone: (401) 294.2044 Address: One Arnold Place Exeter, RI 02822
There is currently no information posted on the website or Facebook Page about the 2018 PYO season.
There is currently no information posted on the website or Facebook Page about the 2018 PYO season.
[/ultimate_exp_section][ultimate_exp_section title=”Strawberries – Massachusetts ” new_title=”Pick Your Own Strawberry Farms” text_color=”#ffffff” background_color=”#dd4949″]
Four Town Farm Phone: (508) 336-5587 Address: 90 George St. Seekonk, MA 02771
Four Town Farm has tractor rides out to the fields in the morning, and the fields remain open until they are picked out. There is currently no information posted on the website or Facebook Page about the 2018 PYO season.
Phone: (781) 784-3600 Address: 614 South Main St., Sharon, MA
Season begins between June 15 & 20, depending on the weather! Call or check the website for details.
[/ultimate_exp_section]
[ultimate_exp_section title=”Blueberries – Rhode Island” new_title=”Pick Your Own Blueberry Farms in Rhode Island” text_color=”#ffffff” background_color=”#4f48db”]
Phone: (401) 847-3912 Address: 915 Mitchell’s Lane Middletown, RI 02842
Blueberry picking begins mid-July
Schartner Farms Phone: (401) 294.2044 Address: One Arnold Place Exeter, RI 02822
There is currently no information posted on the website or Facebook Page about the 2018 PYO season.
[/ultimate_exp_section][ultimate_exp_section title=”Blueberries – Massachusetts ” new_title=”Pick Your Own Blueberry Farms in Massachusetts” text_color=”#ffffff” background_color=”#4f48db”]
Four Town Farm Phone: (508) 336-5587 Address: 90 George St. Seekonk, MA 02771
Four Town Farm has tractor rides out to the fields in the morning, and the fields remain open until they are picked out. There is currently no information posted on the website or Facebook Page about the 2018 PYO season.
Father’s Day is coming up soon. And, of course, the pressure is often on you to make the day special. But I beg you to grab a glass of wine and remind yourself to never underestimate the power of in-school Father’s Day crafts. Because they count. Big time.
I do have to warn you that as your kids get older, there’s no in-school Father’s Day craft time. It’s all about planning ahead or experiencing an uncomfortable, holy-schnikies-last-minute-race-to-the-pharmacy-to-find-something. Anything. For dad.
But there are ways to avoid this last-minute almost-laughable-gift-giving debacle.
It’s all about the thought, yes. And about thinking ahead a little.
I get it. Father’s Day means so many different things to different families. I’ve had friends who have forgotten Father’s Day (and the dad was surprisingly fine with it) while others celebrated the occasion with weekend-long parties, fishing trips, baseball games and pricey gifts.
No judging here. But if you ask me, Father’s Day is all about the dad. His personality. And his idea of the ideal day. Give or take an As-Seen-on-Shark-Tank last-minute lame gift.
I believe the guy in your life should celebrate the day the way he wants to celebrate it. Whether it’s taking a walk on the beach or doing nothing special at all but spending time together as a family. After all, it’s Father’s Day.
As I wipe the sweat from my un-plucked brow, I’m grateful to share that at our house, Father’s Day is about keeping it simple. My husband is a witty, hard-working, thoughtful, and generous guy who will give you the shirt off his back. But when it comes to Father’s Day, he likes to keep things low-key. Nothing fancy. Just enjoy the day with homemade cards, taped-up signs, family time, and meaningful moments.
Through the years, his favorite gifts have always been ones made by hand. By the kids. Whether a scribbled card or a plaque crafted in wood shop, he loves them all. And keeps them on his workbench. He always stresses that the gifts shouldn’t come from me, they should come from the kids.
I’m not exactly a Pinterest queen. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m domestically challenged in some ways. But what about when your kids are 13 and 16? And Father’s Day is in a matter of days? (Insert holy-schnikies emoji here.) I guess it helps to give them gentle reminders a week or so beforehand. And find out what they have planned! (Insert surprise emoji here.)
All my husband ever asks for on Father’s Day is that we don’t go overboard. (Unless we plan to watch the movie Overboard with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn as a family. And, yes, this is one of his all-time favorites).
If the name Ron Swanson rings a bell, you can get a pretty clear picture of my husband’s idea of the perfect way to celebrate. (If you’re not familiar, Ron Swanson is the character portrayed by Nick Offerman on the popular sit-com Parks and Recreation starring Amy Poehler. ) Some dads expect a huge party. My husband is a very fun guy and can be the life of the party. But like the character Ron Swanson, he prefers a good steak and war movie over a huge party on Father’s Day. (Phew.)
No matter what, you still want to make the day count.
Some of my husband’s favorite Father’s Day gifts (ones you can use):
Photo collages on cardboard.
Giant laminated poster-sized family photos. Check out this service at print stores like Staples. The best part is you get to re-use and re-purpose the posters forever. We do this almost every year for birthdays and they’re fun to bring out every year.
Giant poster or memo pad listing “Things To Do With Dad Today.” Have your kids create an agenda and decorate it in their own way.
Framed print of kids’ hands. You can do it yourself with a stamp and a picture frame or buy a kit at the craft store.
Framed prints of kids’ feet. Same as above, with tiny toes!
Breakfast, lunch or dinner made by the kids.
Family Olympics Day. Create fun games throughout the day, from playing basketball to racing around the house. Then enjoy nap-time together! It really is a gift. 😉
Homemade Q&A booklet. – Featuring questions and answers from the kids. You might need to help with the questions, but leave the answers up to the kids. It’s the best part. Some favorite answers come from the simplest questions, such as:
What is dad’s idea of the perfect day?
When did he graduate from high school?
How did he meet mom?
How old is dad?
Kids illustrations with craft store frame.
A painted picture. Forget expensive art. You should see some of my daughter’s first grade masterpieces. He still has a painting she did on a craft store canvas hanging in our room.
Framed pictures of your kids with dad.
Cemented hand print. We still keep a stone in our garden from Father’s Day from 12 years ago. It’s fun to see the kids hand prints from when they were little. You can find kits for these at craft stores.
Memory Jar – Mason jar filled with sweet quotes about dad.
A pottery mug made by hand and signed by your kids.
Playdough creations displayed in a shoe box.
Baseball signed by kids.
Basketball with kids’ handprint.
Paper sign hanging in the kitchen that says, Happy Father’s Day!
My husband still has the scribbled chunk of wood that our son made when he was in kindergarten, my daughter’s canvas first grade masterpieces, a rayon tie four inches too short purchased from the elementary school Father’s Day sale and a candle my daughter purchased from the dollar store with her own money.
Do what you can for that special dad. Like I said, it’s the thought that counts. And it’s even more thoughtful when you plan ahead a little. xo
We are excited to introduce you to Kristina Berger, the first mom to be featured in our “Moms in the Arts” series. Kristina is a master dancer, dance professor, and mother to a very cute and vivacious three-year-old daughter. Kristina has danced professionally since the age of 18, and her impressive biography includes names such as the Guggenheim award winning Molissa Fenley & Dancers, Lester Horton Dance Theatre, Inc, Washington Opera Ballet, the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, and many others.
Kristina is currently a Principal Dancer with The Erick Hawkins Dance Company, a Dance Professor at The Joan Palladino School of Dance at Dean College, and has been collaborating on several of her own pieces. We caught up with Kristina in between rehearsals and, in true multi-tasking mom style, Kristina answered interview questions while pushing her daughter on the swings. It was fascinating to get a glimpse into her life and interesting to see that although her schedule and professional demands look different from the typical 9-5 existence many of us lead, her struggles and joys as a mother are extremely similar.
Kristina Berger, literally balancing motherhood and dance before a rehearsal with the Erick Hawkins Dance Company in Las Vegas.
What is the hardest thing about balancing motherhood and your career?
Before I moved here from New York City I decided, perhaps over-ambitiously, that I wasn’t going to stop anything I was doing and everything was going to be exactly the same. I still tour with the Erick Hawkins Dance Company and for other festivals/workshops as a guest artist performer and teacher, and since kids fly free until the age two, my daughter traveled everywhere with me until she was two.
I was breastfeeding and carrying not only Sabina, but her bags and was pushing myself a lot. I would travel, arrive at a place, give her to a new babysitter, go straight into rehearsal, not warm up properly, and breastfeed backstage. I ended up with a major tear in my shoulder.
So for me, the hardest thing has been the physical challenges of being a mom and a professional dancer. Your body has just undergone an insane change and I went back into it very quickly. I’ve had to realize that between giving birth and a lifetime of Dance with wear and tear over the (many!) years, my movement quality and range is going to be different now, not to mention my priorities as a human. Being pregnant and having this beautiful child and taking her with me on all these adventures taught me this in an exciting but not a very elegant way.
How do you make it work?
I’ve had incredibly supportive and wonderful people along the way. I am able to do what I do because of the humans I know. This year Sabina will spend the whole summer with me at Lake Tahoe Dance Festival directed by Christin Hanna where I will perform and teach. There are a lot of companies who would say “no thank you,” or “figure it out yourself,” or “leave her at home,” but instead, they’re setting up ballet classes for my daughter.
Also, in touring with Erick Hawkins Dance Company under the direction of Katherine Duke, I’ve learned to work really fast. While the rest of the company is somewhere rehearsing for two weeks, I might be there for four days.
And there are such wonderful positives to it. I’m not allowed to have an ego anymore. Things that used to bother me don’t anymore. Dance is a competitive field, and whether it’s about technical proficiency, or appearance, or how much I’ve done compared to someone else, it all has just gone out the window since having a child.
I am completely exhausted and oftentimes in pain but I’m very happy.
Kristing Berger, performing solo from Erick Hawkins’ Agathlon at Lake Tahoe Dance Festival. Photo Credit: Jen Schmidt.
What do you think having a mom who is an artist brings to your daughter’s life?
I think it has given her an incredible imagination and great social skills. Sabina has been around performers since she was three months old. She is often the most social kid on the playground because she is around so many characters all the time.
Sabina is independent, she has a love of music, and she loves to move. It’s totally normal for her tojust get up and start dancing. She is physically active, super nimble, and has great balance. All she wants to do at home is dance. It gives her passion; it allows her to feel graceful and elegant. It gives her a sense of power, which is important for young girls, or anybody really, but especially young girls since it is not necessarily the quality they are most encouraged to present.
What is a typical day like?
I get up at 5:30 in the morning and do whatever exercises I can do for myself, which is very little because my daughter usually gets up with me. Then we catch the train and I will proceed to teach three classes, maybe with a break in between. And in my break, I rehearse my own pieces or work with students. In the evening on certain days, I run rehearsal with the dance students. So sometimes my day consists of leaving the house at seven in the morning and coming home at midnight. Or, leaving the house at seven in the morning and coming home at seven, and then, of course, I’m with my daughter, so there’s no downtime. But I’m fortunate because I’m doing what I love. Right now my schedule is lighter so I have what I thought would be a break, but I’m spending more time with my daughter, which means it’s actually more intense. Dealing with 130 dance students or one three year old? It’s more intense with the three-year-old. It is the most rewarding amazing thing in the world, but it’s also the most crazy. Thank all the gods for wine; that’s all I am saying.
As a mom who is busy and pulled in so many directions, why should I make the arts a priority in my life?
The world is in a state of devastation and havoc. Every day there occurs yet another event that breaks my heart and in my experience art is the only way to deal with it, to escape it, but also to get right in the middle of it and understand that we have to keep going.
As moms, we have (in a different way) disastrous things happening in our own worlds and we need to be totally spontaneous and realize that we can’t plan any of this. Art is a way of making the world more magical and more beautiful. You can use it to escape and go into a world of more whimsy, as well as to delve into the stuff that makes us hurt the most and ultimately find a way to heal ourselves and hopefully others. Art helps us to not only to escape it but figure out how to deal with it. Art teaches us how to flow.
Where can we see you perform next?
In June, I will be joining the band Tributary for several jazz and dance concerts. Locally, you can see me at As220 in Providence on June 19th. I will also be performing with Tributary on June 18th in West Roxbury, and June 21st in Franklin. More details and ticket information can be found on Tributary’s Facebook Page.
These performances have come out of a collaboration between myself and Tributary’s pianist and are particularly special and personal to me as both a dancer and a mother. At this stage in my dance career, an exciting new time is unfolding of creating my own work with other artists who are super talented and inspiring while being able to combine passion and flexibility. We are proud of what we have created and hope you are able to see the show.
Kristina Berger, performing her own solo Threshold, created in collaboration with Greg Woodsbie. Photo credit: Marisa Melito
At Providence Moms Blog, we are passionate about the amazing multi-dimensionality of motherhood and aim to support mothers in their role as “mom” while encouraging them to honor all the other aspects of their identity. We believe that the arts are an essential part of what makes us human and encourage all moms to make the arts a part of their own and their children’s lives.
RISD Continuing Education educates students of all ages in art and design with high quality, accessible programs, courses, lectures, and workshops. Registration for winter classes opens on Monday, November 6, 2017, and classes will begin on January 6, 2018.
RISD CE offers courses for adults in the fine and applied arts and design at beginning, intermediate, and advanced levels. You’ll find a range of options to explore the world of art and design and RISD’s flexible course schedules meet the needs of today’s adult learners and their busy lifestyles. Options include 3-hour and weekend workshops, 6-12 session courses, and full certificate programs.
RISD’s Young Artist Program (ages 6-17) helps students make their mark as they create, build, make, and dream big through courses in 2D, 3D, digital art and design, as well as STEAM courses.
Saturday courses are offered year-round, and week-long vacation camps are offered in the winter, spring, and summer. Teens can enroll in one of four certificate programs to broaden their skills or prepare for a future in art and design.
It’s Tuesday morning. I wake up to the usual fog horn-esque calls for “Maaaaammmmmaaaa” from my kids’ rooms. As I slowly sit up in bed, I realize I couldn’t open my left eye. It is crusted shut. “What the…?!” I said as I shuffle to the bathroom to look in the mirror. “Oh come on…do I have pink eye?!” I say out loud to my still-sleeping husband. (Response: snores.) With two kids under four, we have had a few recent rounds with conjunctivitis and I, the designated eyedrops dropper, overcame each encounter unscathed thanks to hardcore hand hygiene and hyper-vigilant sanitization of all the places where little hands go. So needless to say, I was bewildered…and pissed.
After digging my eye out from underneath its newly formed exo-skin, I checked on my kids. Thankfully, their eyes were bright and clear. (Again, bewildered, but VERY THANKFUL.) So I texted in sick to work, got the kids off to day care and then contemplated the state of my existence. How do I reconcile the fact that I feel fine except for one isolated, yet super-contagious part of my body? As I pondered, I started puttering around my house, moving from room to room and completing unfinished tasks. No distractions. Frequent hand washing. Occasional eye wiping followed by more hand washing. Freedom to move about as I pleased. It was then that I saw the day for what it was: a gift of time. And it was glorious.
I bopped outside to do a little gardening. Then went up to my kids’ rooms to change sheets. Then off to the kitchen to clean up an incredible amount of crumbs. I even had time to work on my side business. Huzzah, I was ticking items off my list! I felt productive in my own home, instead of just maintaining the chaotic status quo. It is a rare feeling and while I did not enjoy repeatedly wiping away my “eye boogies,” I savored every second of being the master of my own time in my own home. Could life be this wonderful all the time?!
It seems a little silly that something so minor as pink eye can stop my whirlwind routine. But I am glad it did. Too often we moms run ourselves ragged and don’t take the time to care for ourselves because we’re thinking about everything else. This temporary respite helped me refocus on how precious time truly is and how I am able to spend it. Ironically, I still spent it tidying up my house, so I don’t think I fully learned my lesson. But it did help provide some needed perspective. Time is precious. So is my health. Thank you, oozing eye goop, for reminding me about that.
It’s hard to believe kindergarten graduation is already upon us. While it won’t be your first graduation (that was for pre-K!), or last, when a grade level turns from names to numbers, it’s a big step. This evening, I’m doing that “emotional mom” thing. Frankly, I am considering giving the box of tissues next to me co-writing credits for this post.
At the risk of sounding cliché, it feels like yesterday I was handed all 6 pounds, 8 ounces of you in the middle of a stormy night. I look at you and can still see a yogurt-covered toddler learning to use a spoon. I relive when we caught you nonchalantly take your first steps across the living room. Sometimes I can still hear the little voice who would tell me to “raise the roof” during kitchen dance parties. The moment that you excitedly held your little brother for the first time continues to replay in my memory.
You don’t fit so perfectly in my lap when we read these days. Now you sit beside me and have become the reader. Weren’t you just learning your ABC’s? Now, Dad and I are learning (the hard way) that we can no longer spell words we don’t want you to figure out.
We once got excited for your first words and sentences. Now you express your own thoughts, feelings and insightful questions with an eloquence beyond your years.
The time of me picking you up with any sort of ease is gone. Today you are tall, growing strong and looking forward to your first hockey season on a team this coming fall. The subtle baby features of your face are gone and have been replaced by those of a boy.
I know this is just the beginning and kindergarten is just a stepping stone. We are continually amazed by how much you have learned and grown this past year. Kindergarten graduation is the wake-up call that I can’t keep you little forever. Nor do I want to.
The single most exhilarating and rewarding part of my life has been watching you grow up. Your victories feel like my victories. Each day you do or say something that makes me say “wow.”
To put it simply, I am in awe of you, and the person you’re becoming.
This excitement is a double-edged sword though. Sometimes I long for the days when you were smaller and things seemed simpler. I still look back fondly on the days where I could keep you safe, days where we would snuggle for hours on end, days where it felt like just you and me (and Dad) against the world.
I look at you though and know that you have to grow up. As your mother, I am here to see you from diapers and bottles up through college degrees and first apartments. I am here to support you and help provide the tools to help you evolve into your own person. You have express your independence. You need to be you.
And I know it’s for the best, even if it’s hard for me to let go of the past. Now I need to embrace the present and look toward the future.
Tonight you might be on the precipice of first grade, but you are still, and always will be, my baby boy. So, for now, I’ll joyfully take every hug and kiss you still want to give me. I’ll treasure the days where you say “I love you” to me in front of your friends without hesitation or self consciousness. I will be grateful for when you still want to tell me about your day. Because I know these days will not last forever, just as the baby and toddler days before it. Soon enough you will morph into a brooding teenager who won’t likely find me relatable, forgetting I was a brooding teenager once too.
All of your firsts have been my firsts. Perhaps that is why your impending graduation is so emotional for me. I, too, am about to close one chapter and look to the next. I am so glad I get to do this with you, my first born, my forever baby. You are so very smart and strong-willed and kind. There is no doubt in my mind what an amazing human being you are growing up to be, and I cannot wait to see where life takes you.
We have all heard it said before: “Nine months on, nine months off…”
But, after nine months with my second baby, the weight is still there. Much to my chagrin it has not magically melted away with breastfeeding. My hips are still a bit too curvy, my belly is far from flat, and those breast feeding boobs are out of control.
Now, do not feel too bad for me because, if I am being honest, I have done absolutely nothing to fix this. In the fall, during my maternity leave, I was walking, running around the yard, and starting to feel great. Then, I went back to work and the holidays and the four month sleep regression (I think we are almost done with that) and blah, blah, blah. The list goes on and on. Life happened.
I often see online those “What’s your excuse?” posts pop up and they infuriate me. Do I have a list of excuses as to why I do not eat healthy? YES! Do I need to work on this stat? YES! However, I do not want to justify how I spend my time with anyone.
Getting to the gym is hard for this working mama – I’m sure it is for many different mamas. My day starts at 5 am and often does not end until around 9 pm. This is when I promptly collapse on the couch with my husband and we just stare at each other because we are broken.
Here’s the thing, though, I cherish my time with my girls after work. I miss them so much during the day and I look forward to my after work cuddles. I rush home to see what new things they picked up while I was gone. This is our time to read, play, eat dinner, occasionally bathe, and get ready for bed.
I am not trying to be a selfless mother here; I look forward to this family time and I am not willing to give it up. In all honesty, by the time the nightly routine is complete and the tornado that hit my house is “organized,” my tank is empty. Add in the very little sleep I am getting and, well, my motivation to work out is nonexistent.
However, like many phases of life, this one is going to pass quickly. I want to be able to enjoy my children now, but also in the future. This means I need to make some changes and show them that healthy is important. To start, I am skipping bed time one night a week to work out (and Saturday morning too). The next step is to seriously start working on my own nutrition. If my children can eat healthy, then I should be able to as well.
I may not love my postpartum body, but I do love the life I am living! So, I am going to work on not being so hard on myself and finding the best way to balance my health and family.
he same friend showed up at the hospital with a pumping bra when she found out that I was pumping without one; at the time I didn’t even know what that was! Later on, she saved the day with a manual breast pump when I needed it for flying. As I write this entry, I’m grateful to her for showing me the way through the world of baby gear and for the friends and family who regularly send us their hand me downs.
I’m a grandmother, 
This excitement is a double-edged sword though. Sometimes I long for the days when you were smaller and things seemed simpler. I still look back fondly on the days where I could keep you safe, days where we would snuggle for hours on end, days where it felt like just you and me (and Dad) against the world. 
