Mother’s Day can be an incredibly challenging time for mothers who have experienced the profound loss of a pregnancy, baby, or child. International Bereaved Mother’s Day, held on the first Sunday of May, honors the moms who do not have their children here with them. As this special day approaches, it’s essential to offer support, compassion, and understanding to those who may be navigating the complexities of grief.
Here are some ways to support a grieving mother on Bereaved Mother’s Day
Acknowledge Bereaved Mother’s Day
First, know that simply acknowledging International Bereaved Mother’s Day can mean the world to a grieving mother. Let her know that you are aware of the significance of the day and that you are there to support her in any way.
However, please note that it is important to ask moms if they want to be acknowledged on Bereaved Mother’s Day, regular Mother’s Day, or both!
Offer a listening ear
Grief can be isolating, but having someone who can listen without judgment can provide immense comfort. Allow mom to express her feelings, memories, and emotions freely, without feeling rushed or silenced. It’s important that you eliminate any preconceived notions you may have about what type of loss is “worthy” of grief or how long the grief process should last.
Validate her feelings
It’s important to validate a grieving mother’s feelings and emotions, no matter how raw or intense they may be. Let her know that it’s okay to feel sadness, anger, or any other emotion that arises. However, refrain from pointing out how things could be “worse,” or identifying the things you feel she should feel “grateful” for.
Create a safe space
Create a safe and nurturing environment where mom feels supported and understood. For example, this could be a quiet time to share memories, light candles, or simply spend time together.
Offer practical support
Practical support can be extremely helpful to a grieving mother, especially on a day that may be particularly challenging. Offer to help with daily tasks, run errands, or provide a meal, allowing her to focus on her own needs and self-care.
Remember her baby/child
Take the time to remember and honor the little one that they have lost. Share stories and memories to help keep their spirit alive in your conversations and interactions. Please know that you will never accidentally “remind” a parent that they have lost a child. In addition, any tears that may be shed were not “caused” by your mentioning their child.
Respect her wishes
Respect the grieving mother’s wishes regarding how she wants to spend the day. For instance, whether she prefers time alone to reflect, or spending time with loved ones, honor her choices and provide support accordingly.
Be there beyond the day
Finally, remember that grief doesn’t adhere to a timeline. Supporting a mom who is grieving requires empathy, patience, and flexibility. By acknowledging her grief, and respecting her wishes, you can provide invaluable support to a mother who is navigating the complex journey of loss and healing.
