Ideas For Activities To Do During February Vacation

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February 13, 2018

It seems like the holidays actually just ended (my neighbors still have their lights up so that tells me it’s not even technically over yet), and I’m already hearing chatter about February vacation. The thing about February vacation (in New England) is that it comes smack dab in the middle of the winter — merely weeks after the last “break” from school.

For those of you who are headed off to paradise in a luxury boat and plan to sip piña coladas while your children flock to the pool, good for you! For everyone else, here are a few ideas so you won’t drive yourself crazy all week with the kids home, broken up into three categories: free, reasonably priced, and splurge.

FREE

Libraries! We absolutely love the library – and the best part is that it can be great for all ages. We even tend to go library hunting (instead of visiting the one closest to our house each week) to find new experiences. Build a scavenger hunt of history into the library visit so that your children are ::gasp:: getting some education during their vacation! Some libraries may even have different hours or special events and activities going on during the vacation, so be sure to check out their websites before you go!

Playdates! There is nothing better than a playdate with a purpose. Invite some friends over for a pizza making party or a movie marathon! Having the kids all together will be so much fun– especially if a group of five moms offers to host one day each.

REASONABLE

Museums! Providence Children’s Museum is a personal favorite of ours and can be even more cost-effective if you obtain the passes at the library for ½ priced ticket admission. We love exploring the kitchen areas, the I-95 construction project, and the water tables! It’s a great spot for the super little ones as well because they have a room that is specifically designed for children under the age of 4. Even better: it is also open on Mondays during holidays and school vacation.

Indoor fun! Think rock climbing, family swim hour, and bowling! Most of these activities can be found throughout the state and are always a sure hit with the kids. Sometimes it’s very necessary to get the kids out of the house, even for a couple of hours, so that they aren’t sitting on the couch or making you regret not booking that family vacation.

SPLURGE

Outdoor fun! Skiing, ice skating, bumper cars in Providence! These are all super fun ways to spend the break, especially if you love the cold and want to get some fresh air. Many mountains have opportunities for ski school so that the parents can get some alone time in as well. Be sure to head to a professional ice rink if you’re going to try your feet at skating (Boston also has a great rink if you’re feeling up to a day trip!) and if you would prefer to stay closer to home, head over to the Alex and Ani Rink where you can experience bumper cars!

Can’t wait to hear what you’ve got planned for the upcoming vacation! What else would you add to the list? Be sure to let us know.

IEP Confidential: Six Essential Tips From an Educational Advocate

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Melissa Brusso

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February 12, 2018

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IEP Confidential Educational Advocate Providence Moms Blog — Don’t wait.

It’s an important time of the year for parents whose children have special needs. It’s the time of year when you might start to discover that your child is struggling in school. Or when you confirm your suspicions from last spring that your child really does need some intervention. Or when you brace yourself for another round of struggling, not just with your child’s disability, but with a school district that is unresponsive to your concerns.

Throughout my fifteen years as an Educational Advocate, I’ve seen the best and the worst of IEP processes and outcomes. I think that good educators walk on water, and I have experienced every one of the characters so well profiled by this blogger. A good IEP team is student-centered, proactive, and transparent–and the best parent participant is an informed, prepared parent.

Whether you’re at the very beginning of this journey, or you’ve been at it for years, here are just a few tips for being your child’s best advocate in the special education process:

If you think your child is struggling and might need special education services, don’t wait. Let the school know. Do it officially (see #3), in the form of a letter of referral for evaluation. Act sooner rather than later. Every school year is important in your child’s life–don’t waste months thinking (or being told) that your concerns are not valid. It is important to refer your child for evaluation to trigger the regulatory timelines which affect the rest of the process.
Before you attend a meeting more official than just a parent/teacher chat, get familiar with the RI Special Education Regulations. Don’t be intimidated–you can skim some parts, but you really do need to read up. Otherwise, your thoughts and intentions might get lost in the fog of jargon and acronyms used (MDT, LD, ASD, the ever-abused RTI…) and you will be at a disadvantage when discussing your child’s needs. Not to mention that if you don’t know how the process is supposed to work, then you’ll be slower to recognize when it is not working. The Regents’ Regulations are not suggestions. They are RI state laws that govern all of special education.
Get everything in writing. Get everything in writing. One more time for the folks in the back, get everything in writing. If it is not written, it is not a reality, and you may see lots of great-sounding, agreed-upon plans slip away as you find out later that it “can’t be done,” or wasn’t recalled the same way by the others on the team. You should get (in advance) the purpose of each meeting in writing, as well as anything agreed upon during the meeting.
Don’t sign anything that you don’t fully understand, and don’t be pressured into signing anything. Ask lots of questions, write down the answers, get clarification, and leave without signing if you need to think things over or get a second opinion.
Bring a friend to school meetings–especially one who has been there themselves. That second pair of ears can catch things that you might miss and can also hear things in a way that is less emotionally loaded than it is for us parents.
Know that you are an equal member of any team that makes decisions about your child. You are not there to go off into battle-mode, but you’re not there to be trifled with, either. You will meet many experts in the special education process (sometimes all at the same time!) but you are the best expert on your child, and you are the only one whose only priority is your child.

For more information, check out WrightsLaw blog and the RI Disability Law Center’s Special Education Handbook.

Time To Go Outdoors – Winter Edition!

By

Alana DiMario

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February 11, 2018

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We are one of those families where things tend to catch and stick – mispronunciations, punny references, song lyrics substituted for phrases and directions – and become part of our family lexicon FOREVER. Those buzzing yellow and black insects? Tumblebees. Something is in danger of being left behind? Don’t forlost it! And when you need your child to face you to zip up a jacket? Turn around, bright eyes…every now and then I fall apaaaaart…

There is also a song that we will start to sing whenever the energy in our (less than 1000 square foot) house turns fidgety and cranky — which fans of Yo Gabba Gabba might recognize — Time To Go Outdoors! Outdoor play is a no-brainer boredom buster in the spring, summer, and fall. In the winter, making intentional time to go explore and play outside is an absolute lifesaver.

The winter months are when our house feels the smallest. We move less. The kids bicker more. And the last thing we want to do is go to a public place full of children where it’s too hot inside and everyone coughs. Fortunately, the whole wide world still awaits, even when covered in snow. It’s beneficial for kids, even very young ones, to go outside in the winter. It’s a novel sensory experience; they use different muscles, there are new challenges to navigate and problems to solve, and they get fresh air! Time to go outdoors, time to go outdoors, feel the warmth of the sun, and the cool of a breeze…

One important step to take when preparing for a winter of outdoor adventures is to make sure you can be comfortable while doing it. Your child is probably decked out in head to toe Patagonia, ready for a Mt. Everest expedition, while you are shivering in your cute cloth peacoat that’s really only meant for running from the house to the car and vice versa. Time to invest in a good coat, some fleece-lined pants, decent gloves, hat, and boots that will keep your feet warm and dry and give you solid footing on slippery surfaces. An insulated mug for take-along hot beverages is a bonus.

Once you are all geared up…where should you go? Here is some inspiration!

Your backyard or a local park. If there is snow on the ground the kids will get plenty of gross motor input as they trudge around the backyard, roll balls for forts or snowmen, drive toy trucks through the piles, and make snow angels. Fill some spray bottles with colored water and make fun designs in the snow. If there isn’t any snow, explore what is different about your yard in winter. What still seems alive? What is dormant? What birds do you see? Build fairy houses with found objects, take out the bubbles and balls to chase, and poke at icy puddles to see what happens. Swings and slides are still fun in the winter, too!
The beach, if you have one nearby. Especially on those thawing days when the whole world is muddy, the beach is a wide-open canvas of beautiful possibility. Draw in the sand, take a walk, look for things the storms have washed ashore (bring along a trash bag and offer a reward for filling it with litter, if you are feeling environmentally conscious). Go watch the ferries and fishing boats for a while, or the surfers.
The zoo or aquarium. Animals get frisky in the cold weather, and you will have the place almost to yourself. Duck inside the indoor parts to warm up when you need to, and talk about what animals seem more or less adapted to the cold. The winter is the best time to find a volunteer and let your preschooler ask every question she’s ever had about giraffes or seals. Roger Williams Zoo has half-priced admission for January and February and a February camp program.
A local hiking trail. If you are not yet familiar with RI Families in Nature, check out their guide to hiking trails throughout Rhode Island. They share information on parking, difficulty and length of the trails, facilities, and other tips. We have their book, which doubles as a journal to note the trails we liked best and what we saw on our walks. If you need a scheduled event to help motivate you to hit the trails, they even host group hikes all around the state. Check out the monthly “Park Rx” family walks hosted by the South Kingstown Land Trust, or the Bird Walks and other events through the Audubon Society of Rhode Island.
Winter-exclusive events. If you live in New England, February is usually when the maple sap starts to run and there are maple sugaring events at farms throughout Rhode Island. One of our favorites is at Coggeshall Farm, which conveniently coincides with February break. Exploring a replica of a maple sugaring camp and seeing how this played a role in the life of an 18th-century farm family is a neat way to think about how challenging winter life used to be and how people made the best of it. Of course, winter can also mean skiing and snow tubing, which we have right in our backyard at Yawgoo Valley – kids as young as three can take lessons.

And when you have spent a few hours breathing fresh air, taking in the wide open sky, and feeling like you are in on the best secret because you just had the most beautiful wooded trail all to yourselves on your winter hike? That’s when you get to go home to your cozy house and enjoy some hot chocolate, looking forward to the easy bedtime that awaits you!

Battle of the Sexes: Breakfast Edition {A Challenge to Local Parents}

By

Rhode Island Moms

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February 10, 2018

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If there’s one thing moms and dads can agree on it’s this: figuring out what to feed kids is a STRUGGLE. (I think I’m on a month straight of my kids eating Belvita crackers for breakfast. Don’t judge.)

Even though there’s a consensus around the fact that kids don’t eat, there is often ~~frequent and tense disagreement about who~~ a bit of friendly scorekeeping when it comes to which parent can actually get the kids to eat. If you spend any time on the internet, it would seem that moms do #allthethings while dads spend 45 minutes a day in the bathroom (okay, there may be some truth to that one). Meanwhile, dads balk at being the brunt end of all the jokes, and if we’re being honest, we don’t blame them. The truth is, both moms AND dads are just doing the best they can to get the kids to eat something.

The Challenge is Waged:

So when Providence Moms Blog heard that the great crew behind The Burgundian Waffles is trying to bring a Double Decker British Style Waffle Bus to Providence, we knew we had to help. Every single time I have seen a waffle from The Burgundian put in the hands of a child, it has disappeared almost instantly. So, in an effort to help get the Waffle Bus to Providence, and settle the who can REALLY get the most done debate once and for all, Providence Moms Blog has issued a challenge to The Boston Dads: Who Can Get Breakfast on the Table Faster: Moms or Dads? (And by “get breakfast on the table” we obviously mean “contribute the most money to the Burgundian Waffles Kickstarter page towards getting the waffle bus here so those guys can feed our kids instead.”) Hang on to your hats, friends, it’s on…

Battle of the Sexes: Breakfast Edition

The Providence area members of The Boston Dads group have accepted our challenge and the terms of the wager have been set. The Burgundian Kickstarter Campaign has 4 weeks left – it ends on March 5th. Providence Moms Blog contends that we can convince more local moms to contribute to the campaign. The Dads Group thinks they can rally more dads to back the waffle bus.

(Did we mention that to thank all of their contributors, they’ve got fun rewards ranging from a free coffee or waffles all the way up to an 8-hour private waffle bus adventure tour?)

The stakes?

Bragging rights, obviously. There will be no more need for that pesky scorekeeping since this showdown is going to prove once and for all who can get more done! Really, you need more? To sweeten the deal, Providence Moms Blog, The Dads, and Burgundians have a few surprises in the works. Stay tuned for an announcement on March 10th after the close of the Kickstarter campaign. Trust us – it’s going to be fun!

What to do:

Head over to The Burgundian Kickstarter Campaign to make a contribution. Contributing in the name of the moms? Follow the Mom Link. Want to help the dads win? Follow the Dad Link. Do it now or you know you’ll forget. We’ll wait right here.
SHARE this post on Social Media and TAG your friends. Challenge your friends, your spouse, your mom, your dad — IT’S A DOUBLE DECKER WAFFLE BUS, YOU GUYS. Challenge everyone!
Make sure you are following Providence Moms Blog’s Facebook Page, Boston Dads Group’s Facebook Page, and The Burgundian’s Instagram to keep up with the campaign. We’ll be coming to you with weekly updates on the challenge.
Stay tuned to find out what we’re going to do to thank ALL of you hardworking caregivers — we know how hard everyone who plays a hand in raising kids works and we’re bringing some fun your way.

Here’s some more info about the Kickstarter campaign and the Bus:

To the Burgundian’s… we wish you the best… although we do still have a few unanswered questions:

Is the waffle bus going to drive up and down our streets at breakfast time ringing a bell like the ice cream truck?
How much do we have to raise for you to park at the end of the school drop off line and hand our kids waffles as they walk into school?
These delicious waffles that our kids inhale are secretly full of spinach right?
Why are we suddenly craving waffles?

A Mom’s Angry Letter to Cold and Flu Season

By

Laura Tancrelle

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February 9, 2018

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Dear Cold and Flu Season,

Is it just me, or did you show up way earlier than usual this year? Most years I feel like we can get a good chunk into January before I worry that you’ll really take a stronghold, but this year, roseola struck my house in October. By December, my Facebook news feed was exploding with mamas lamenting about their sick little ones. And in January, my sweet baby got not one, not two, but THREE ear infections, plus double pink eye for good measure. Don’t you know it’s considered rude to arrive somewhere before you’re expected? Perhaps you’ve gotten the wrong idea and think you are welcome around these parts. Let me be clear to you: moms can’t stand you. In fact, there’s literally nothing we hate more than you.

You know why? There is nothing worse than watching your favorite person in the world struggle with pain and discomfort that you can’t take away from them. We moms want to FIX things, for crying out loud, and for a large number of common childhood illnesses, the only cure is time.

We also despise that you turn our happy kiddos into a fun combo of crabby and clingy. This means that the small amount of time we had set aside for ourselves is completely taken up with being someone else’s everything. Even nighttime is no guarantee, with sick little ones climbing into our beds. As if is that isn’t tough enough, please add in the worry factor. Do they have a fever? How long have they had this fever? Hmm, isn’t that too high? I think I’ll call the doctor. Well, the doctor says I have nothing to worry about. But I’m still worried. Because I am a mom and that is what they pay me (nothing) to do. Worry, worry, worry until the day I die.

You also leave us stuck in the house for Days. On. End. And just when we think we might be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel of germs, our other kid comes down with the same thing. Or (even better!) we catch what they’ve got, making life semi-tortuous as we attempt to take care of the kids while in a mental haze that leaves us even foggier than that day we ran out of coffee.

This year things are so bad that even after our kids get better, we’re afraid to go to our favorite indoor places for fear we’ll be right back where we started. And since there have been more days below freezing so far this winter than I care to remember, outside time has been rare. (A couple friends and I were so desperate a few weeks ago that we brought our kids out on a 40-degree rainy day to splash in puddles).

Basically, you have already overstayed your welcome, so if you could buzz off as soon as possible, we would really appreciate that. We don’t mean to sound cliquey, but you’re not welcome at our playdates. In return for your speedy exit, we pinky swear that we won’t complain (much) about how hot it is this summer.

Signed,

Moms Everywhere

Black History in the Rhode

By

Niki Robinson

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February 8, 2018

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Raising kids in a historically rich setting like Rhode Island offers unique opportunities. In honor of Black History Month, I want to encourage us to take advantage of all that local history and share it with our kids. Most of them will learn about Harriet Tubman, the Emancipation Proclamation, and George Washington Carver this month, but I think it really speaks to the spirit of understanding our history if we share lesser-known historical facts with our kids: people, places, and events that they won’t find in the average textbook. And since Rhode Island loves local, our own history is the perfect place to start. When I started looking into this, I was blown away by the complex history of our little state and the many little-known ways that black men and women have contributed to that history. So here’s a very short list to get you started. Let it inspire you to visit some of these historical places, learn more about these fascinating people, and see what other discovers you and your kids can come up with!

Newport, RI – There’s no pretty way to say this: Rhode Island was a major player in the transatlantic slave trade. Newport was one of the most active and profitable ports of the triangle trade in America. In June 2017, the City Council of Newport declared Liberty Square as “the site of a new historical monument to honor and memorialize Africans who lost their lives on trans-Atlantic slave ships as well as the survivors and their descendants.” The monument will be part of a nationwide initiative by the Middle Passage Ceremonies and Port Markers Project. Talking to your kids about this can help them see that slavery wasn’t something that just happened far away a long time ago and is a great opportunity to discuss how racism still exists today.

Newport, R.I. was a major port for the triangle trade of rum, sugar, and slaves. Library of Congress, Geography and Map Division

‘God’s Little Acre’ – A segregated section of the colonial Common Burial Ground in Newport, ‘God’s Little Acre’ is the final resting place of both free and enslaved Africans and African Americans. Dating back as far as the 1600s, it is thought to be the oldest and largest burial ground of its kind.

Charity “Duchess” Quamino – “Dutchess” was an enslaved African woman who was able to buy her freedom by operating a successful catering business out of her master’s Newport home. She was known as the “Pastry Queen of Rhode Island” and was laid to rest in ‘God’s Little Acre‘ in 1804.

Emmanuel Manna Bernoon – Emmanuel Manna Bernoon was a freed slave who went on to open an oyster and ale house in 1736. It was Providence’s first ever restaurant. While most freed slaves used the last name of their former owner, Manna distinguished himself by adding an extra ‘o’ to his last name, thereby making it his own.

The 14th RI– The 14th Rhode Island Heavy Artillery was Rhode Island’s black volunteer regiment during the Civil War that comprised of at least 1,800 soldiers. They trained at Dexter Training Ground in Providence. Many of these veterans are buried in the North Burial Ground, which was the first public cemetery in Rhode Island.

Old Brick School House– In 1828, ‘The Old Brick School House’ became the location of the first public school for children of color in the state of Rhode Island. Located at 24 Meeting Street on modern-day College Hill, it is now home to the Providence Preservation Society.

The Celebrity Club – The Celebrity Club was a world-class jazz club located in Randall Square in the 1950s. As New England’s first interracial club of its kind, it was simultaneously the subject of strong opposition and phenomenal success. Billie Holiday, Ray Charles, Etta James, Duke Ellington, Nat King Cole, and countless others performed at the Randall Square Venue before its closing in 1960.

Viola Davis – This famous modern-day actress was born in Central Falls in 1965. Davis is the first black woman to be nominated for three Academy Awards, and in 2017 she became the first black actor to have received an Emmy, a Tony and an Oscar during her career, known as the ‘Triple Crown of Acting.’

I hope this list might help you to reflect on, celebrate, and share Lil’ Rhody’s black history with those you love.

Why I Love Munroe Dairy Home Delivery

By

Althea Tower

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February 7, 2018

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Providence Moms Blog is so excited to provide this review of their home delivery service through our partnership with Munroe Dairy!

Munroe Dairy Providence Moms Blog Home Delivery “Mom!” my daughter yells to me, standing on a chair so she can see out our front window. “You have to come look at this truck..it’s…it’s a COW!” My husband and I laugh, but we’re almost as excited as she is to see the Munroe Dairy truck arrive. I had seen the boxes with cows on them around the area. And you really can’t miss the famous cow painted trucks driving around. Nevertheless, I had never really looked into milk delivery. I just assumed it was out of my price range. But when I heard that Munroe Dairy had reasonable prices, I mentioned it to my husband. I figured he would dismiss the idea, but to my surprise, he encouraged it. “I bet it’s so good — let’s give it a try!”

Well, it really was that simple. I called and spoke to a customer service representative who was extremely friendly and helpful. She happily answered all my questions, both about the service and the products. I wanted to know how long I would be obligated to receive deliveries once I sign up because I figured there had to be a catch. But there wasn’t. If you sign up to try a delivery and you decide to stop for any reason, delivery stops. It’s as simple as that. But I can assure you, you won’t want to stop. Because here is another great thing – Munroe doesn’t just deliver milk! You can get all your groceries delivered to your door, most of them being great, locally sourced foods and items.

As I continued placing my order (and continued asking a LOT of questions!), I didn’t once feel pressured to buy certain products or add more to my order. You can also place your order online up to midnight the night before your delivery. Your delivery day is the same every week, making it easier to remember when to have your order in by. You can even set up a ‘back up’ order for weeks when you forget to put in your order! (Busy mom forget to place her order? Never, right?) Just kidding — it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when for me. And when I do, we will still have the milk that we drink every week delivered to our door.

Our milkman arrived at 7:45 in the morning on delivery day, which worked out perfect for us since this is when we’re having breakfast before getting on with our day. He introduced himself and asked about delivery times because although he can easily leave our order in the cow box outside, he preferred to deliver our products at a convenient time when we would be home. I thought that was a nice touch and great customer service. But it’s also nice to know that I do not have to rearrange my schedule to receive my order. Win-win!

After the milkman brought in our order (right to the fridge!) he asked us if we needed anything else before he left. We couldn’t wait to try our new goodies! My husband was the first to open one of the cool glass bottles. His eyes got wide as soon as he tried it. “Oh man!” he said. “Yeah, we’re never going back to any other milk.” And that was pretty much his reaction to every product we tried. My kids have loved it, and I feel great about it. The icing on the cake is it’s extremely affordable. It has made the transition over to milk and grocery delivery so easy and given me peace of mind.

So if you live in Rhode Island or southern Massachusetts and have seen the cow trucks driving around delivering milk and wondered if it was right for you, I can’t encourage you enough to give Munroe Dairy a try. And make sure you add the chocolate milk — don’t worry; you can thank me later.

Munroe Dairy is more than just a milk delivery service — it’s your one-stop shop for all your grocery needs while supporting local businesses. So spread the #LocalLove and sign up for Munroe Dairy’s home delivery service here! Be sure to tell them Providence Moms Blog sent you!

My Truth About Postpartum Sex

By

Anonymous

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February 6, 2018

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After the birth of my first child, I was inundated with articles about postpartum sex. Article after article discussing how women could not wait to be intimate with their partner again. Claims of how the six-week wait was too long. For a long time, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. How could all these women possibly want to have sex? I just wanted a shower and to not be touched by anyone for twenty minutes.

I remember nearly hugging my obstetrician when he told me that things still needed a bit more time down there after my six-week follow up. Walking out of his office, I put my game face on. Next, I explained to my husband that we did not get the green light, while silently leaping for joy in my mind. Thankfully, I had just bought myself a few more weeks to recover and mentally prepare for what was to come.

Eventually, I made the decision that it was time. My assumption was that the first time would be uncomfortable, but with time, we would fall right back into a rhythm. I assumed wrong. I expected pain the first few times, but what I did not expect was the complete lack of interest on my behalf that continued for months after birth. Eight months, to be exact. Even harder to explain were the feelings that came with it — guilt, shame, and anger.

There was so much guilt. My husband could sense my hesitation. I avoided his touch. I tried not to initiate any cuddling or affection for fear that it would lead to intimacy. Our sex life was amazing before pregnancy, but suddenly the idea of it made me sick to my stomach. My husband’s body, however, did not get the memo. How could it? His body had not changed drastically over the past year. Everything was just the way it always was, except for me. And while love is so much more than sex, when that intimacy went missing, I knew that he felt like he was failing.

He was not. In fact, he was amazing. I did not know how much more I could love him until we had children. To watch him interact and love them sent chills down my spine. My heart was so full, and yet there was this elephant in the room that neither of us could address. This is where the shame crept in. Shame that I could not explain how I was feeling. There was the shame that I was pushing him away, despite how much I needed him. Shame that I said yes when all I really wanted to say was no. The shame was layered and deep, and it turned into anger.

I was angry that he did not understand. Throughout the day, I would give and give and give so much of myself to everyone else. There was my job and the baby. My whole world had been turned upside down. Everyone was dependent on me, and at the end of the day, I was exhausted. But then I had to give more. I would avoid it as much as possible until the tension would become palpable and then I would give in. The anger would not subside though. It lingered. Then once again it turned to guilt and then to shame. It was an endless cycle. I was breaking.

Eventually, I was able to express what was happening. It took a long time to find the words. My husband was just so thankful that I was talking about it. It helped. We worked through it, as a team, together, the way we were supposed to.

My period finally returned and our sex life made a triumphant homecoming. After the birth of our second child, I knew what to expect. It was different. I still had no desire to have sex, but there were conversations this time around. My husband understood not just what my body needed, but what I needed too.

Valentine’s Day: Simple Ways To Spread the Love

By

Jessica Johnson

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February 5, 2018

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I hated Valentine’s Day for a long time.

As a jaded teenager, I dreaded the day that reminded me I had no admirers. My school did a fund-raiser every year where for $1 you could send a carnation to anyone in school. So every Valentine’s Day the pretty popular girls walked around with dozens of carnations while I had one, sent from my best friend (thanks, Michelle). It was so shallow and silly and probably inspired by an episode of Saved By The Bell, but every year I would get my hopes up, only to be disappointed.

One year, instead of the one carnation, I found out I received two. I had no idea who it was from since the note was a math joke I didn’t understand. As I went about my morning, I noticed that almost everyone had at least one flower, and everyone seemed to be in a great mood. When I got to my fourth-period Geometry class, I sat down ready to endure 50 minutes of torture. To my surprise, my teacher opened the class with “Happy Valentine’s Day to all of my favorite students. I hope you all enjoy the flowers.”

My teacher had given every one of his students a flower-gram that year, and it completely changed the way I saw Valentine’s Day. It was incredible how such a small gesture made everyone’s day so much better. I think this sweet and genuine simplicity should be the heart of our Valentine’s Day celebrations.

So in honor of Mr. Combs, I compiled a few ideas you can do, either with or without your kids, to make someone smile this Valentine’s Day – or any day, really.

Buy a bunch of flowers, and give out singles to whoever you’d like. Get the kids on this, too. Hand them out in the park, in the store, library, anywhere! Attach a cute note if you want to get fancy, but really that would be reaching the limits of my craftiness. A simple flower and “Happy Valentine’s Day” is more than enough.
Did you receive good customer service? Let the kids overhear you call the manager to compliment them. This sounds lame, but trust me. I worked in retail for quite some time and can tell you from experience, while complaints can come in droves, compliments are few and far between. And when you do receive a compliment passed on from upper management, it can really put a pep back in your step, especially after the holidays, which can be exhausting for anyone working retail.
Make homemade cards. It’s probably the most simple, effective way to put a smile on someone’s face.
Pay for someone’s coffee. Or deliver some to your favorite friend whose baby has been up all night teething.
Family game night. Have a game night with sweets and popcorn. Make it extra Valentine’s Day-ey with this game I just made up right this second. Everyone gets a few slips of paper. On each piece of paper, each family member writes down what they like about each family member. You put all the papers in a bowl and draw one thing out at a time and try to guess who the paper is about. Sounds fun, right? If you have younger ones who don’t write yet, you can just go around in a circle and talk about a favorite memory you have with each family member.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about romantic love at all. If the romance or marketing of the holiday irritates you, you don’t have to abandon it altogether. Instead, you can use it as a reminder to celebrate the love shared between friends, family, and community. I like to think of Valentine’s Day as a reminder to simply spread the love. A call to make someone smile the way my teacher made all of us smile years ago.

I’m the Wrong Person: A Grandmother’s Lament

By

Carol-Ane Woodard

-

February 2, 2018

0

My daughter asked me to just sit on the bed to make sure her sleeping baby didn’t roll over and fall off. The middle child was still asleep, and she needed to drive the oldest to school.

It was a pretty sweet assignment. I took off my shoes, arranged the pillows, pulled up a blanket, and checked out my Twitter feed.

When the baby stirred, I got ready to inhale that baby head smell, pat her bum, and cuddle. My grand-daughter is very social and has the world’s widest smile. She moved back and forth, rolled, and looked up at me. And wailed. Piteously. Loudly. Her face crumpled.

I sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’m the wrong person.”

Once upon a time, I was the right person. I was the magic person. My babies loved me more than anything. Or anyone. When I picked them up, they miraculously stopped crying. When I left the room, they were inconsolable.

I wasn’t expecting that. I sorta thought babies were always these continuous crying creatures. But boy, did I love it. I mean, I’m sure that I had been loved before. My mother, my father, aunts, and grandparents all loved me. My husband loved me. But. They all also frequently offered feedback. Their love never felt unconditional.

My babies, though–it was pretty much the best high I had ever experienced. (I mean, it was great for a while. Until they became teenagers.)

It was kind of hard on my husband. You see, he had always been the kid guy. Kids just loved him. He loved kids. I found the whole kid thing kind of annoying. But my own babies loved me. Unconditionally. I was the sun and the moon and the stars.

Also, it was very convenient to please them. Pull up the shirt, attach, and all was well.

I miss those days. I mean, not really. I mean, actually, I’m really glad to be able to sleep through the night and only have kids in my life when I want them there. I watch my kids with their kids and am eternally grateful that I don’t have to go through all that anymore. I couldn’t. I don’t know how they do it. I don’t know how I did it.

But now, I am, clearly, almost always, the wrong person.

“Where’s Grandpa!?” they demand whenever they see me. (They know a kid guy when they see one…)

“Uncle Josh!” they cheer whenever they see him.

And they’ll hardly even look in my direction when their parents are around. The baby always smiles broadly at me from her mother’s lap. I suspect that she’s actually gloating. (Ha, ha, you can’t get me…) If I happen to be holding her and her mother leaves the room, she wails. Loudly. Piteously.

That morning, I picked her up. We do know each other. We do have a routine. I cradle her head, rock her back and forth, and whisper…shh..shh..shh… shh..shh…over and over. The familiarity calms her and she falls back asleep. I return to my Twitter feed. I’m the wrong person, but I’ll do.

I’m not sure how I feel about all this. Of course, it doesn’t matter how I feel about it. I can’t morph into their

wrong person Providence Moms Blog — I am frequently the recipient of this look.

parents. I’m not my husband. I’m not that kid guy. I’m not even Uncle Josh (who seems to take after his father…)

But that morning, I did get the baby back to sleep. My daughter didn’t come home to a wailing infant. My daughter still loves me. So I’ve got that…although perhaps not unconditionally. And definitely not without the occasional feedback. Or eye-roll.

But there’s always a silver lining.

Later that morning, the middle child needed help.

“Wipe me!” he demanded from the bathroom.

“Umm…want me to wipe him?” I tentatively asked my daughter.

“Mommy!!!” he immediately cried. (Little ears never fail.) “Mommy wipe me!!”

I shrugged and turned up my palms… “Gee…I guess I’m just the wrong person…”

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