I’ve have been extremely blessed since my son has been born to only work part-time. When he was born I was working as a 5th grade Special Education Liaison. While pregnant, I worked full-time teaching in the school setting and also instructing fitness classes a few days a week. I’ve always operated at full capacity; one job was never enough. I enjoy being busy and having a schedule. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that once my son was born, my world was turned upside down; in a good way. Being a mother taught me a lot right off the bat. I had to slow down, I had to be more present, I had to meet someone else’s needs.
As my maternity leave reached its end, I was eager to get back to my schedule but sad to leave my little guy behind. I think I made it 2 weeks before I had a complete breakdown in my principal’s office. I flat-out told him there was no way I could do my job well if I was working full time. He could’ve said too bad, but he didn’t. He told me how valued I was and how he was willing to work with me for that school year to keep me on board and performing at my best. [Insert my shocked face]. Three days a week I was able to leave after a half day, sure I took a cut in my pay, but I was a better teacher and mother that year.
Fast forward to February when I was given an opportunity to take over a fitness studio that I had been teaching at for years. It was perfect: doing what I loved and making enough money to cover what I was losing in my full-time job. I finished out the school year and spent the summer running my business and trying to make sense of what the next year would bring.
Once again I approached my principal and explained my situation. There was simply no way I was coming back full-time the next school year. A position was developed that allowed me to work three hours a day. WHAT?! I know it sounds insane, but I am a true believer in there being a bigger plan and this certainly a step in the right direction.
I was able to run my business, work part-time, and be present in my son’s life. What more could you ask for right?, Well it gets better; an amazing RI based company asked me to work for them and open a wellness center right here in Providence. I’m sure you can imagine I had to say yes. All of the sudden, I was faced with this new reality of working in a corporate world. No more school vacations, no more summers off.
Here I am, months later and I couldn’t be happier about my decision to take on this role. However, I am STRUGGLING with mom guilt. Part of me wishes I just sucked it up at 13 weeks and went back to full time with the hope that I would be adjusted by now; most of me is so unbelievably happy that I’ve had this time to raise my son and be there for him as much as I have.
I guess my point is it’s never easy to go back to work full time. It’s not easy to be a part-time mom, just like it isn’t easy to be a full-time mom either. One thing I do know is that no matter how many hours I work in a day, or how many days a week; that little boy is there when I come home with a smile on his face and love in his heart for his mama. There is no such thing as a part-time mom. We do it for them. We do it for us.
Remember: If you’re doing your best, you’re doing just fine.
