Planning for baby: Topics to discuss with your partner before baby arrives


Congratulations! Your baby is due soon! You’ve setup the nursery, packed your hospital bag, and checked off everything on your to-do list. It has taken a long time to reach this point in your pregnancy; 9 months’ worth of discussions with your partner about baby gadgets, names, and the never-ending guessing game of where you will be when your water breaks. So much discussion has revolved around baby’s grand entrance into the world, but have you and your partner discussed the game plan for when baby is here? What is your plan to protect your relationship, sanity, and guarantee your both on the same page before baby comes? I have compiled a list of topics to discuss with your partner before your baby arrives. The goal being to narrow down as many necessary discussions with your partner so you can mentally make room for the never-ending questions that come along with bringing your baby home.


Diaper changes, bathing, feeding and swaddling. Do you have experience doing any of these things? If not, that’s okay!! There are plenty Newborn 101 classes online that will help you learn the basics.


There are ways to maximize your sleep when you are working together. Before you reach the point of elbowing your husband to get up and feed the baby at 3am, discuss who will get up at night. Newborns wake up every 1-3 hours the first days, and even weeks, home. How will you divide the night into shifts with your partner? Sleep deprivation is one of the biggest shocks for new parents. Brainstorm ways to create a schedule or hire overnight newborn help in advance.


How soon is too soon? Should we limit the first month only to our support circle? This topic, especially the past year, has been weighing heavily on many new parents. It is certainly a sensitive one! Everyone wants to meet baby, but everyone needs to respect your rules as parents. Discuss and weigh out all the pros and cons.


The house isn’t going to clean itself, but there are ways to make this work. Prioritize what really needs to be done each week and cut down your to-do list. There will always be a few things around the house you or your partner are more comfortable doing. Consider this and try not to add pressure. Be realistic about what you can handle, what you can’t or if there is a local cleaning service that can help you temporarily.

Relationship Goals

How will you both make time for your relationship after baby arrives? What can you do to preserve what you have already established within your relationship? Baby will take up a huge piece of your heart, time, and energy. Communicate your needs and wants before and after baby arrives. It’s common to hear new parents say that their focus is on the baby and feel like their relationship with each other takes the backseat. Get creative and think of ways you can still focus on just the two of you. Incorporate date nights, walks or binge watching a new tv show when baby goes to sleep.

Social Media

I gave birth to my first child over 11 years ago. At that time, there were public conversations that included a play by play of my birthing progress posted on Facebook which were followed by baby’s first photos. I can laugh at it now and am happy to say that times have changed for the better! Almost everyone knows not to make a birth announcement for mom and dad or to publicly post photos without the parents’ consent. Not all parents want their children on social media. Hash it out, come to an agreement with your partner, and spread the word to family and friends in case they aren’t aware of what you want publicly shared.

Medical choices and birth plan

Medicated, labor inducing drugs, drug-free.. oh my! Many options and choice that will make your head spin. Talk to your OBGYN, birth doula, or mid-wife about your options and curate a plan. This topic should be discussed for baby too. Will your baby be vaccinated? If you have a boy, will he be circumcised? Reach out to your baby’s pediatrician beforehand. If you do not have a pediatrician yet than make sure you add that to your “things I have to do before baby gets here” list.

Communication will always be KEY! I hope these topics of discussion help ease your transition into parenthood and provide a sense of confidence in all that is to come.

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Janet Iacobucci
This wife, mama of three children and lifelong Rhode Islander is your typical Cranstonian. Jan met her high school sweetheart Frank, got married and now raise their family in Cranston. Starting a life and family where you grew up has been nostalgic to say the least. Her journey as a mother has been an inspirational one with her children being the cutest and most demanding teachers she has ever had. After years in the healthcare industry, Jan took a leap of faith and followed her passion to become a postpartum doula, child passenger safety technician and newborn care specialist. She left her job at a local hospital to start her own small business called Well Nested RI. Her business caters to new parents, newborn care and families that are going through the biggest transformation of their lives... parenthood! When Jan isn’t snuggling a newborn or supporting a local mom, she is most likely wrestling with her son Monte, drawing with her daughter Gwen, playing street hockey with her oldest son Roman or trying to hold a conversation without interruption with her husband Frank. Other than being with her family Jan loves coffee, photography, reality tv, brunch and traveling.