One afternoon as I sat with some old friends watching our kids play, the topic of trying to conceive (TTC) came up. I was so struck by each of their journeys as we talked about secondary infertility, IVF, and so on. Telling my story for the first time, I talked about tracked cycles, Clomid, and unsuccessful IUI and IVF attempts. I also shared how we surprisingly got pregnant naturally after all of that. As I reflected on that afternoon, I was reminded of the mantra I used to tell myself. She May Have a Story.
I was reminded of the mantra I used to tell myself. She May Have a Story.
While TTC, I would tearfully read post after post of women announcing their pregnancies with their first, second, and sometimes third or fourth child. Despite being happy for my friends, I would still sob as I responded to their birth announcements. I, unfortunately, had this same reaction after a really good friend told me she was pregnant over lunch one day. After babbling my congratulations, I drove the entire way home in tears. My amazing friend knew that her great news was hard for me to hear. She called me the next day to share her own extremely difficult journey. She had a story too.
My New TTC Mantra
After this call, I realized that so many women have a story about their journey to motherhood. My mantra became “She may have a story.” Maybe not everyone struggles with infertility, but maybe there were miscarriages, spousal disagreements about having children, a traumatic birth, etc. You just never know. I repeated this mantra to remind myself that I wasn’t alone in this journey and that motherhood doesn’t come easy for everyone (even if that’s what we see online). Most times, this mental reminder calmed me, and other times, well, it didn’t and that was okay too.
For mamas in their TTC chapter – I get you. I know how hard it is to show up to baby showers (I skipped one or two myself) and to see the happy posts on social media. I encourage you to remember that everything isn’t always as it seems. Those mamas you see – they may have a story too. You aren’t alone even if it feels that way. While it won’t protect your heart 100% of the time, this mantra might help a little. Sometimes that’s just enough.
