It started with a letter to a newspaper editor. In August of 1946, King, a college student at the time, couldn’t stay silent. Something provoked him to act, to write a letter to the editor of the largest newspaper in Atlanta. In that letter, King wrote,

“We want and are entitled to the basic rights and opportunities of American citizens: The right to earn a living at work for which we are fitted by training and ability; equal opportunities in education, health, recreation, and similar public services; the right to vote; equality before the law; some of the same courtesy and good manners that we ourselves bring to all human relations.”

As a biracial woman 72 years after these words were written, reading King’s words now seems so surreal.  The accepted brutality in our country at that time was something I was not alive to witness. Lynchings and senseless racially motivated violence did not haunt my newspaper pages the way they did in decades past. Jim Crow never infringed on my personal freedom to use whatever bathroom, swimming pool, or storefront entrance I wanted. 

I feel so separated from my own history in that way. That separation makes it easy to read King’s words and be surprised at his need to address the necessity of basic human rights for African Americans. In reality, the fact that I am able to feel surprised at all is a direct result of the work that King and countless others did to fight for these basic human rights. My basic human rights. My kids’ basic human rights.

I want my kids to be like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I want to raise my children to be courageous in the face of opposition and vocal about injustice. I think we all want that for our children. As our kids grow and learn to use their own voices and gifts as agents of change, I want to encourage you, us, to remain intentional and engaged. Here are some ways we can encourage our kids to be more like Martin Luther King Jr.

Encourage your kids to emotionally process injustice. A few months ago, I was at the store with my 8 year old son. As we were shopping, we heard quite a commotion. A man was yelling very loudly at a woman, who was staring silently at the floor . As we walked by, I stopped and asked her if she was okay. She said everything was fine and then walked away quickly as security guards approached. I looked down and noticed my son was on the verge of tears.

When we got in the car,  I knew he needed to put words to his emotions. He voiced that he felt scared for the woman, but he wished we could have done more to help her. He voiced that he had never heard anyone sound so mean when yelling before, and that it made him feel very nervous. We unpacked everything he wanted to talk about, and I’m glad we did. Kids need to be able to process the injustices we see all around us. Sometimes it’s hard to come up with words at first, but it is important to work through those feelings together rather than dismiss them altogether.

Encourage your kids to dream. What do your kids think the world should look like? How should people treat each other? How should we handle objections to our points of view or methodology? These are such important questions to discuss with your kids. As you bring these subjects to the foreground, I encourage you to really listen to what your children have to say. The expectation may be to hear your own thoughts parroted back to you, but let’s give our kids a little more credit than that. In fact, in my (very humble) opinion, children exercising their freedom to respectfully express a different opinion than their parents is truly an indicator of a healthy home dynamic. 

Encourage your kids to act sacrificially.  I can not stress the importance of this enough. When you stand up for a cause, when you stand for those who seem to have little to no voice, you take a risk. You risk losing your job, losing respect, your friends; the list can go on and on. I think in the age of social media especially, we can fool ourselves into thinking we are “fighting” for a cause. In reality we are taking a selfie, throwing up a hashtag, or checking in at a rally just to say we were there. The truth is that real change does not come that easily. Real change requires real sacrifice. And when you really believe in something, you have to be willing to lose just about everything to fight for it. 

Martin Luther King Jr. was a fighter. He didn’t fight with his fists, but he fought with unwavering resolve, faith, and strength. As he and the civil rights movement progressed, he was ridiculed, stabbed, imprisoned, and his house was bombed. Can you imagine if Dr. King gave up after he received his first threatening phone call? Sure, the movement could have progressed without him, but we probably would not have any of his speeches or letters. It would have been a true tragedy if Dr. King let fear stifle his calling.

The life of Dr. King also reminds us that:

Change is not easy. Igniting lasting change takes years of hard work and perseverance. In an age where gratification is immediate and information is at the tips of our fingers, I do worry that my kids might not “get it.”  It might be hard for them to understand the blood, sweat, and tears needed to follow through on something big. The passion. The grit needed to keep going when you want to give up. 

Change is not immediate. As a nation, we are still addressing deep rooted damage,  a direct result of the multiple ways African Americans have been oppressed in this country.

Change is not trendy. Going against the flow never is. 

I hope you use Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day to talk about hard things, yes.  I hope you also use it as a catalyst, a reminder to stay engaged with your child. To encourage them to fight for whatever cause they feel tied to, no matter how unpopular. We are raising kids who will change our world, so let’s be sure to teach them to dream big and work sacrificially like Dr. King.